Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth Is A Treasure Trove Of Minigames, But I Hate Fort Condor

I come bearing a new discussion today. What are your thoughts on the mini-games some titles implement in their gameplay? Do you feel they are a breath of fresh air from the routine combat and gameplay loop? Or do you believe they are forced distractions in an otherwise enjoyable game? I think I’m a pro-mini-games person. I always enjoy these creative little mechanics that retain versatility in gameplay.

Many action-focused games add some puzzle-fueled mini-games to augment their standard gameplay. These aren’t much in terms of complexity mostly (sometimes more complex than the game itself) and serve to lighten the mood. However, we have cases where they become extremely tedious to the point of frustration. Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth has a lot of the prior, but a slight touch of the latter as well.

Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth Is Filled To The Brim With Creative Mini-Games

FF 7 Rebirth is here, and in a nutshell, it’s a much better and more refined experience than its predecessor, that’s for sure. On top of that, the game is filled with mini-games at a lot of hubs across the world, each pretty enjoyable on its own. From racing to rhythm games, shooting to card games, there’s something here for everyone’s tastes, and a lot of these are very well done.

To begin, let me discuss Queen’s Blood, which is probably my favorite one so far. It’s a seemingly simple yet extremely complex card game that involves claiming positions across the board before your opponent and then filling it with cards of a particular power. The total score for three horizontal lanes is calculated at the end. Sounds simple? Wait till you see just how many strategies are possible in this game.

First look at the Card Game Queen’s Blood
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Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth adapts the middle part of the journey, which is all about exploring the vast fantasy world. The game did a brilliant job of designing a magnificent world, separated into discrete chunks. Two of these areas, Costa del Sol and the Gold Saucer, are the definite playgrounds for many of these minigames.

You get to compete in fun Chocobo races, defeat polygonal 3D figures a lot like the original FF 7 design in a prediction-based punch out, shoot point-based cardboard monsters, let Red XIII run wild in a Rocket League-like minigame, navigate a maze to destroy score-marked boxes in a time limit, hop around in a frog-style Fall Guys, and many more, each equally enjoyable.

Needless to say, Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth gives even the Yakuza series a challenge when it comes to creative mini-games. However, I told you earlier that there’s some frustration as well. That is none other than Fort Condor, my worst enemy.

Curse You, Fort Condor

Let me tell you a story. I’m deeply enjoying my playthrough of Rebirth, with all the mini-games and such. Then, suddenly I come across Fort Condor. I immediately go “Hey, this was in Remake Integrade, too. Let’s give it a try.” And that’s when my enjoyment came to a halt. Fort Condor is nothing more than a frustrating mess that is a nightmare to go through.

So what exactly is Fort Condor? It’s essentially a 3D tower defense game where you have to place units against the marching army to eliminate it and their headquarters in one fell swoop. As heroic and exciting as it may seem, it’s been giving me nightmares. Every unit has a cost, and you need to wait for your ATB gauge to fill before placing them. 

Forget that Tifa minigame, *this* was the worst…
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The most cruel thing is the gigantic ticking clock always reminding you of your failure, which you will eventually do. Any strategy you adopt is prone to a lot of RNG. You can’t control which direction your units will go or which enemy they’ll target. They go after the nearby foe, but there’s a huge RNG in that. There’s RNG in enemies’ attacks, RNG in your healer units, it’s essentially RNG galore, to the point of my utter frustration.

Fort Condor sucks
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Locking Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth Platinum Behind Hard Mode Was Beyond Cruel

Oh, you’ve finally cleared Fort Condor? That’s brilliant, congratulations. Now, here’s a hard mode of this nightmare (Ah, the horror). Yeah, you heard me right. When you complete all four rounds of this horrible mini-game, the game tells you that it was all smooth sailing so far. Something even more unfair than what you’ve done so far awaits.

FFVII Rebirth's Fort Condor quest surely one of the most unpleasant minigames I've ever encountered. Random, slow, and could never be mistaken for fun. At the end you're offered the opportunity to do it all again on a higher difficulty level. Must be some real psychos out there.

— Jack Eason (@realJackEason) March 16, 2024

Although it’s optional, sure, it’s not so optional if you plan on getting that sweet Platinum. You have to complete every mini-game with a perfect score including hard modes if you wish to get 100% completion. Most of these mini-games are not hard to get a perfect score at, it’s fun even, but not Fort Condor.

On hard mode, your ATB gauge fills a lot more slowly, and above all, there’s no unit you can place indefinitely, or even re-summon if killed. You start with a limited number of units, and once dead, they stay dead. Either you run out of units, or you run out of time, and at that point, you can do nothing but curse Fort Condor for existing.

The Strict Platinum Requirement Sours An Otherwise Perfect Game

When Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth was first announced, I was preparing myself for a hard platinum. That’s because the first game was the same, and I expected something similar. When I gave it a try, I found the combat much better and refined, which made me think “Hey, I can do this easily this time.” If it’s just completing the game on hard mode, I’ve got it.

This will probably be the hardest FF title to platinum I think.
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However, I soon realized how wrong I was. Rebirth’s Platinum is a hundred times harder than its predecessor, if not more. Not only hard mode, but you need to complete some impossibly hard 10-round challenges, where a single mistake is game over. Above all, I think completing Fort Condor hard mode will take the most out of me.

Believe me, I’ve completed the game in hard mode with little trouble, but this Fort Condor is still giving me nightmares. It has singlehandedly ruined my impression of the minigames as a Platinum desirer.